Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I Hate Money

Seriously. $$ causes problems no matter how you look at it. If you ("you" meaning "me" in this instance...but it's easier to place the blame off of myself, so bear with me/you) have a lot of $$ then you are consumed with buying things with it and if you don't have enough of it you are still consumed with buying things but you can't, so you are just consumed with what you can't buy.

I have been pretty good about buying less since I now make less.
It was fabulous back when I made more. I would shop whenever I wanted, while still saving a good amount. But over the summer, a good deal of "house" things crept up that I easily paid for on my pretty pink credit card. (with a credit card that cute, who doesn't want to shop!?) Our shed, paint, plants, pots, dirt, fabric, light bulbs, wiring, curtains, mud plaster, venting fan, etc, etc, etc. All necessary at the time, but horrifyingly painful to look at the bill now.

Then I was saving up faithfully for a new car. About which time, the old car got smashed and we had to get a new car right away and we used other savings for that and had to get another loan. Joy of all joys. So the car savings (which was smaller) got used for my fabulous new camera. I had been wanting said camera for a very long time and justified it since I had the savings and also because I plan to use it for future business ventures.

The very next week the hot water heater went out and what money I spent on the camera could have/should have/would have been saved for that expense.

In the meanwhile, I have been busily ebay-ing to make up for many of these losses. And as most of my auctions end today I have been checking my stats every three minutes. I never really realized that sellers would check the info as much as buyers would!

And the hard part is going to be deciding where to put the money. I'm thinking about the "saving for the expensive car fix that will be coming up before we drive to visit family in Florida in February." But there's also the "saving for driving to Florida in February" that I have to think about. Not to mention the previously mentioned "seemingly insurmountable ever-looming credit card debt that has mounted over the past 7 months that I'd really prefer not to think about at all but it looms so I have to think about it."

I really enjoy budgeting and organizing the bills and getting everything paid early (kind of like Monica who assumes everyone pays their bills as soon as they come in the mail) but I also am a horrible compulsive shopper.

When will I ever learn!? I don't need half of the things I have and sometimes when I open my closet(s) I am sickened by the amount. But I want, I want, I want.

We have already decided it would be a small Christmas this year. When asked what is on my list, I usually just say books. Surely I don't need anything else. At least a book can increase my brain more than just being a possession.

I should be/I need to be/I want to be giving money and things to church and charity this year, but sadly I can't even do that. Again, sickened by what I have and by what I wish I could give. Time, I can give, and I will, but that just doesn't seem to make up for it.

I don't know what I hope to accomplish by this telling blog post. Maybe I just needed to get my problem out for the world to see for my own accountability. Maybe I really need someone to tell me to quit buying things. Some days it's so easy when I'm in my right mind, and other days I find myself in the mall or any other store and the pink car fairly flies out of my hand. At least now, I leave it at home. In a drawer. It should probably be under lock & key.

10 comments:

Jean said...

You should get a really ugly card, then you won't use it. Or cut up the pink one to never be used again. As painful as that may be, it'd be less painful than seeing the bill months later...

Listen to the sermon from Sunday (if you haven't already) and apply it to your finances. Setting the budget is easy. Sticking to it is the hard part. Keep at it, even when it looks bleaker than bleak.

Anonymous said...

urg, i think i lost my post...

here's what i said:

it's easier for me if i avoid going to the stores altogether. cause when i'm there, i just see things on sale (great deals!) and suddenly realize "i need that."

then, when i do go to the stores, i try to set myself a limit. that helps too. but it helps more if i'm not even IN the store...

james said...

coming back here would help. we're hiring.

anne said...

Actually, I did just transfer my balance to a zero % to help the situation. And the pink one will be just for church purchases which are all reimbursible...that way also it's easier to keep track of what we have and haven't gotten back.

But I will listen to this week's sermon, thanks! I didn't make it in at all except for the end of two services to see the baptisms.

Heather, I completly agree! Days that I stay home I sometimes make things of what I actually need...but then I get there and don't stick to the list! AHH!

Geez, James...way to tease. What are you guys hiring for right now?

james said...

everything. 15 positions. as you can see, we really need it because i don't have enough time to read all of your blogs.

Carbon said...

I find that if you avoid the stores, as heather said, you won't spend your money. Also, if you have to go to the store, make a list of what you need and stick to it. That usually helps.

It's really hard to not get caught up buying things because it's all so new and pretty. Owning a house and car always hurts (there are always big expenses associated with them). Wait until children come... gasp!!!

anne said...

I already want to buy cute kid things...And I don't have any reason to! Sigh.

Frannie Farmer said...

I haven't even started shoping yet because I am so concerned about over spending. Which as we all know, means that I will wait til the last minute and over spend.
If you figure out a method to the madness, please (please, please, please) let me know!
:)

blog Portland said...

You could always give some of those extra things that you don't need to charity. If was me, I'd throw it all on eBay, and consider diverting a generous 2% to a worthy cause. I've always been a big supporter of AA, since the more people that quit means the more for me to drink.

anne said...

BP...that is a fabulous idea. I do have a few bags ready to go to Goodwill, and we have been selling a bunch on ebay. But after Christmas I am going to be going through and sorting out GW stuff, ebay stuff and possible garage sale stuff. Declutter and all that. Looking forward to that, actually... :) Thanks for the suggestion!!