I often find that I fall so far short of my goals. Right now, life is good. Baby is healthy and happy and learning new things every day. Summer is around the corner and the world is fresh and green again. Andy & I are coming up on our 7 year anniversary while discovering our love to be stronger all the time.
In spite of all of the goodness around me, I am unsettled. My procrastination seems to be at an all-time high in a time when I have so much to do. Ever-growing mounds of laundry, dishes piling at every turn and my garden needing vast amounts of attention. Not only do I want to be successful at motherhood, I want to be a better housekeeper.
This spring I paid to go to exercise classes and every week something comes up to prevent me from attending as often as I should. The excuses are usually pretty weak. Last night I just wanted to spend time with my baby and this morning, well, I think it's just gotten to a point where I don't care any more. Sure, I should go. I'm even up early enough to have time to eat long enough before I go. But I don't.
Budgeting has also fallen by the wayside for me. I feel as though I have been pretty good about not buying extraneous items, but at the same time I am off the mark from where we need to be. Stupid mistakes that end up costing a lot of money. Stupid and so frustrating.
Worst of all is my spiritual life.
So here I am, highly frustrated with myself and throwing my vulnerability out into the world. They say you should only work on one new habit at a time, but I feel as though there are so many things in my life that need complete overhauls.
Debbie Downer signing off.