Saturday, November 19, 2005

The Night of the Gnome

I've got a garden gnome. His name is Gary. He is a lovely fellow. Red hat. Long white beard. About a foot tall. He keeps away the bugs and pulls my weeds at night while I'm sleeping.

But I am naive.

I thought he would be with me forever. But alas. He has been gnome-napped. Not once, but twice.

One dark stormy morning (ok, it could have been nice out, but this makes the story much more intersting) I received a ransom letter. A request for me to comply with their demand for money. (I was not informed at first how much money, however.) Gary was in danger for his life. Duct tape across his mouth, hatcuffed to a pipe and placed behind bars. What a traumatic experience for a young gnome. (they grow beards early)

I complied with the evil gnome-nappers. I gave them their requested twenty dollars and Gary was released into my custody. Ahh. Peace at the Ferrai residence. Freedom from bugs and weeds once more. Smiles and joy whenever I arrived home and saw his happy face.

But his tale was not to end there. Oh no. Far from it. His story is just beginning.

For Gary was to become a member of the elusive Traveling Gnomes clan. (dum, dum, dummmmmm)

On September first of 2005, Gary left us for warmer climes and in his place we found: Darryl. Darryl the hideous, acrylic, broken half-a-donkey. The front half, mind you. We of course thought this was a hysterical turn of events. First poor Gary is gnome-napped and then he is taken on this life-changing journey across the country!

About three weeks later, however, we discovered it was not quite as simple as that. One morning, sitting next to our lovely Darryl, was a goose. A wooden, faded white goose. Huh? Are we to keep recieving random lawn ornaments as consolation prizes for the lack of our beloved gnome?

The correct answer to this question is, of course, yes. Yesterday morning, we walked out our front door on the way to work and sitting placidly on our front step was a lovely, little frog. At least he's cute. Well, at least he' There's more about him here and here .

I don't know when Gary will return home. And sadly, I have not even recieved any photos of his exciting travels. But I have hope that he will return home soon with many stories and pictures of his journey. I miss the little guy.

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